As a teenager, I treated my parents really badly and it’s the one thing I can’t speak to them about, I have never said “I am really sorry”, I was really awful and caused them so much distress and upset. I often wonder why they stood by me, they must have thought I will come through it in the end! I cringe when I think about these years and somethings I have just blanked out. Having these teenage experiences have got me ready for when my children hit their teens and I feel better placed to deal with it.
I really wanted children but I couldn’t afford not to work. I spoke to my mum and she said she was prepared to give up work and career, so she could look after my children. I could go back to work and know that my children were going to be with her which was wonderful.
Because I was thinking about getting pregnant and having a baby, I didn’t really appreciate the sacrifice my mum made until recently when she said, ”Oh I wasn’t a good mum, you are a really good mum” my mum busts a gut for me every day and she does so much, I am overwhelmed by it. I don’t know how she could possibly say that as I am trying to reach her standards all the time; my mum always made sure I had my PE kit, my home economics stuff etc. I don’t want my children to miss out even though I work full time, I go to all their plays because I remember my mums face there and I want my children to have that feeling. Even when I am stuck with things at work, I ring my mum every time. And when I see her with my sons, when they leave her, they cling onto her and tell her they love her, even at 7 and 10 years old. It’s so wonderful and I would love to have that when I am older. My friends on the school runs have got to know my mum now and tell me I am so lucky to have such a wonderful mum who does so much for me and the children and I want to keep that in my thoughts for when I am a grandparent one day.