I dipped my toe into doing business a lot before I finally put my heart and soul into it and stopped faffing about and worrying about ‘what if’. I have never felt like I was supposed to be in an office, it was making me miserable. I had three jobs in a row that made this obvious to me and when I finally felt ready to quit, my husband was happy and supportive because he knew I’d been unhappy. I’d always had an idea of what a great lifestyle would look like, I don’t like settling and my attitude has always been ‘let’s just give it a go’.
I’ve always had really high standards and I consider myself a ‘doer’, so I would find courses and I’d do them but they never quite stuck with me – my soul just hated it! Tapping into what works for me was the changing point; I gave myself permission to do exactly what I want to do, when I want and to change my mind at any given point. It’s really difficult when we’ve all be taught that good results come from burn out, ego is often attached to this idea; work looks like and feels like complete exhaustion, but I have the confidence to reject this idea. I saw a business coach and the first thing she asked me to do was to have Sundays off. This really made me angry because I thought ‘how dare you, don’t you know how much I could be doing’. But she was right, I never had time to reset. Initially I just busied myself with other things, like grocery shopping and filing. I literally found it impossible to take a day off, but now I can relax me because I’ve got very good at trusting my instincts and the more you do it, the more confidence you grow. I now trust in my ability to make money and I have no baggage that tells me ‘I can’t’.
It’s probably been harder for me as a female in business, but I’ve never paid any attention to it. I remember at school distinctly thinking ‘it’s always going to be harder for me because I am black and I am female’. But I embrace my differences. Of course, I’ve understood being black, being female and looking young, can go against me in my industry. But it’s just a self-awareness; I’ve never allowed this self-awareness to turn into a negative narrative. The default of the world is that typically women need to prove themselves more. There are facts; the ratio of men to women on stage is 3:1, I can’t fight that fact. But it’s not the case on all stages, there are always anomalies and I’ve chosen to be the anomaly to everything. If Oprah can do it, why can’t I?